Camel crossing....

Huh~

Examinations are coming like never ending wave towards the beach. one after another is like a chain reaction. Well that how things work here in medical school (esp. in Jordan). this is a life that I had choosed. So whether I like it or not, I have to endure it. Just a little bit. Not for along time. Back to my life. Nothing really important happening to me (at least not life threatening. Alhamdulillah). Right now, as I'm writting there's a thousand people out there still striving to do something for living. But for me, Alhamdulillah thank to HIM for all of these things HE had given me. Maybe it's a little, still it's something worth to be thank to HIM for (actually everything that we had we shoul thank HIM).

Right now, I'm listening to Barenaked Ladies an old and I don't think nowadays kids will remember or even know about them (well I'm really sorry cause I'm not really a songs lover not even nasyeed). But this band I've known only for a few weeks I think. First I've read about them in a portal called BoingBoing. It's a cool site where you can get something that you won't get on any ordinary search engine or any formal sites. It's actually almost something new (even if it has been there for like the last few years). Actually there's a lot of new things that I wanna to share with you guys. But I don't know if they'll fit for all ages and everyone. Cause probably somebody will say that I'm a bit too open. Well to tell you the truth, I just read anything or everything that they have in internet. And then I'll be judging either is it suitable for me or not.

So it won't hurt to read something about others. Actually it'll give you something new. New insight. New hope. And a brand new horizon on how you view things. Maybe before this, you always stick to the main stream. Well sometimes in order to success you have to try something new (as long as it's not against our religion). Insyallah you'll be someone new. Even a good preacher need to know something about the world. A good preacher is a person who knows many things. Because not everyone or eveything will fit into our conventional knowledge. Something that's out of our normality has to be tackled by something that is out of normality too.

I've read an interview of a Young Mufti in Sarawak I think in NST not a few days ago. Well he said that muslim nowadays didn't understang the power of our religion (well it's something to be expect from someone who didn't even now how they got into Islam). The only religion that'll be accepted by HIM. I'm not going to elaborate it. But insyallah I'll make an entry dedicated to that subject. Biiznillah.

About the last entry, one of my friends said to me that "the past is something to be appreciated, future is something that we're facing", what really count into choosing either future or past is what we're after. Maybe it's not too clear for most you guys, but my point here is that in our life we should know what we want. Before making a choice you should know what you want. Is it hard to know which one? Not it's not. You guys must be wandering why I'm saying that. Well you guys already had the answer (yeah you guys already had that). And what is that? The answer is two things that had been left for us by our prophet Muhammad, Quran and Hadith (his wisdom words from AllAH). There you are. The answer. Why we always trying so hard thinking about something that we shouldn't have to be thinking about (esp. me)?

Umph, I guess that's all for now. And I'm having general pharmacology test this Wednesday. Please pray for so I'll be the best. We are the best, still the best and will always be the best. And all thank to HIM for his graciousness and wisdom........

“Success is not to be measured by the position someone has reached in life, but the obstacles he has overcome while trying to succeed.”

Untitled

Life is so unpredictable~

Why we always longing for something that we like. And we always forget everything about what we had. And then when we meet something new, we forget about the previous? Is this life? Is this somekind of test or what? Well that's what happening to me right now. I'm not saying anything about what I'm longing just I wanna express this thing inside me. I already had something. Then suddenly I found something new. Something that I thought it might be more interesting and enjoyable than the previous one, so I chase after the new and let the old drifted away. Am I some kind of j**k or what?

Then suddenly when the thing that I' after is like far away, I'm thinking about the old one. Where it had been. How is it. Is it still good or what. Then I realize that I missed it. And I also wish that I don't the thing that I'm after. After a few seconds, the new thing just there at my door. Then I'll forget about the old. And that thing happening to me almost every minute and everyday of my life. Yet I realize that nothing will last forever. Not even the strongest thing in the universe.

I've been praying every days and nights for AllAH to guide me through this. And I believe that HE'll answer my pray. Maybe he didn't feel like giving right now. I don't know. Maybe it's somekind of how HE answer my pray. And probably I'm the only one who didn't realize it. I'm not whining about it. Just it gives me a creep. Or what can I say that it gives me this feeling. Somekind of feeling that I should do something about. And here I'm don't know what to do. i don't even know if I'm writing this a good thing. All I can say that people probably always like this. When they found something new and interest them, they will leave what he had and go for the new thing. I just hope that I can really choose the right one.

Like what always happening in the medical field. When the scientist found a new drug, the doctors they always turn their head to the new drug. Even sometimes, the old one is more potent than the new. Like someone who had a PS2 and then come PS3. He would chase after PS3 and left the PS2 behind. And not to forget about guys chasing after girls. When they already had one, then they saw a new one they will chase after them. And yet, nothing last forever. Yeah nothing last forever. Still people are doing it. Are we lost?

Are we lost in this world? Or it just a glitch of life? Well it's never a glitch. Nothing in HIS doing is a glitch. Not a single thing. I've heard people saying that beautiful things are actually the accident of creation. For example like dimple. People say it is nice to have dimple on our face. It makes our face look radiant and shining. Yet, it is actually a lost of some muscle which are use to move your skin. Then what is this? What are we doing here? Please enlighten me through this dark phase.

"Many of us spend half our time wishing for things we could have if we didn't spend half our time wishing."

Comming soon to your place.
Don't miss this exciting journey of faith.
Bringing together all the brothers onto the same faith.

Apa khabar iman anda??

Keindahan ciptaan-Nya lambang kekuasaan~

Tajdid Iman: Keimanan rapuh punca hati resah
Bersama Dr Juanda Jaya

Manusia perlu elak dikuasai nafsu

PUNCA-PUNCA kesedihan - jika ada satu alat yang sesuai
untuk mengukur kekuatan iman, tentulah alat itu adalah
'hati'. Allah SWT menjadikan hati itu hidup dan
berfungsi sebagai pusat kawalan bagi anggota badan
manusia. Seseorang yang suka menyentuh hatinya dan
merawat dengan baik akan semakin mengenali dirinya
sendiri.

Jika gelisah, sedih dan putus asa menguasai diri, dia
akan bertanya kepada hati apakah sebabnya? Kemudian
ilmu diperlukan untuk menjawab soalan, akal diguna
sambil hati memandu cuba merungkai penyebab kesedihan
itu. Akhirnya ditemukan jawapan punca kesedihan,
kemurungan, gelisah dan tekanan pada diri manusia
iaitu;

Suka membuang masa. Hiburan dan permainan boleh
merehatkan hati dan menjadikannya lebih bertenaga,
tetapi apabila terlalu berlebihan ia boleh membunuh.
Orang mukmin membahagikan masanya kepada tiga
bahagian, iaitu;

Pertama untuk Allah SWT; kedua untuk dirinya sendiri
yang meliputi fikiran, perasaan dan tubuh badannya dan
ketiga untuk keluarga dan umatnya. Sikap membuang masa
biasanya dipengaruhi oleh persekitaran. Manusia akan
mudah terpengaruh dengan apa yang dilihat dan didengar
daripada pergaulan. Berkawan rapat dengan orang yang
suka membaca boleh mempengaruhi minat kita kepada
buku, begitu juga bila suka iktikaf di masjid
mendengarkan syarahan agama akan menjadikan kita dekat
dengan ilmu.

Kita sentiasa berhadapan dengan dua pilihan dalam
hidup ini, jalan baik atau yang buruk. Kawan yang
jahil atau soleh, situasi mengingatkan kita pada Allah
atau melupakannya. Membuang masa menyebabkan kemalasan
yang berakhir dengan kegagalan, sedih dan tertekan.
Seorang mukmin yang benar imannya sentiasa berada
dalam situasi jihad iaitu bersungguh-sungguh mengisi
masanya dengan perjuangan dan pengorbanan untuk
memenangi pertarungan melawan iblis dan syaitan.

Kesedihan juga berpunca daripada sifat dengki dan
mengikut nafsu. Ada orang berasa sedih menyaksikan
orang lain yang mengatasi kehebatannya. Lebih berjaya,
kaya, berpangkat, cantik dan bergaya. Risau dan
tertekan bersarang di hati, ditambah dengan sifat
dengki dan dendam yang pasti akan memalapkan cahaya
iman.

Ubat bagi kesedihan sebegini adalah dengan melihat
siapa yang berada di bawah anda. Bukankah ramai
manusia yang tiada apa-apa untuk dimakan pada hari
ini? Rumah mereka musnah oleh banjir dan badai, anak
dan isteri mereka mati di hadapan mata kerana tembusan
peluru, kehancuran bangsa dan negara oleh kekejaman
perang. Mengapa perlu bersedih jika kita masih
memiliki orang yang tersayang, mengapa risau jika
harta kita dilindungi Allah SWT, jika ia berkurangan
bukankah selama ini Allah memberi jumlah yang banyak
tak terhitung? Semenjak dari rahim ibu lagi rezeki
sudah dikurniakan kepada kita. Sudikah kita jika
seseorang mahu menukar kedua mata, kaki dan tangan
kita dengan wang berjuta? Tentu ia lebih berharga
daripada wang. Kenikmatan yang Allah kurniakan itu
terlalu banyak, tetapi hanya sedikit manusia yang mahu
bersyukur.

Kesedihan kerana melupakan Allah. Bagaimanakah keadaan
orang yang melupakan Allah? Dalam surah Al-Hasyr ayat
19 Allah SWT berfirman yang maksudnya: “Dan janganlah
kamu menjadi seperti orang-orang yang melupakan Allah.
Lalu Allah menjadikan mereka melupakan diri mereka.
Mereka itulah orang-orang yang fasiq.”

Makna melupakan diri mereka sendiri adalah mereka
meninggalkan amal soleh yang boleh menyelamatkan diri
mereka di dunia dan akhirat. Orang yang melupakan
Allah SWT mempunyai ciri-ciri seperti berikut;

Hari dilalui tanpa ibadat, lupa berzikir, mengabaikan
sembahyang, tidak membaca ayat al-Quran, menjauhi ilmu
dan meninggalkan amal soleh. Kehidupan dunia
menjadikan mereka buta, tidak dapat menjejaki jalan ke
akhirat. Keadaan mereka seperti binatang kerana mereka
hidup semata-mata untuk makan, minum, tidur, berkahwin
dan memuaskan nafsu saja.

Ini sesuai dengan firman-Nya yang bermaksud: “Dan
sesungguhnya kami jadikan untuk isi neraka jahanam
kebanyakan jin dan manusia, mereka memiliki hati tapi
tidak dipergunakan untuk memahami ayat-ayat Allah, dan
mereka memiliki mata tetapi tidak dipergunakan untuk
melihat tanda-tanda kebesaran Allah dan mereka
memiliki telinga tetapi tidak dipergunakan untuk
mendengar ayat-ayat Allah. Mereka itu seperti binatang
ternak, bahkan mereka lebih sesat lagi. Mereka itulah
orang-orang yang lalai.” (Surah Al-A'raf: 179).

Benarkah orang yang kaya tidak berasa sedih, putus asa
dan tertekan? Sebenarnya, ia bergantung kepada sumber
hartanya dan untuk apa ia dibelanjakan. Kekayaan yang
sebenar adalah kaya hati. Iaitu hati yang sentiasa
bergembira kerana iman kepada Allah dan bersyukur
serta reda dengan qada dan qadar-Nya.

INFO: Hati sebagai alat kawalan manusia

Allah SWT menjadikan hati itu hidup dan berfungsi
sebagai pusat kawalan bagi anggota badan manusia.

Orang yang merawat hatinya dengan pelbagai amalan
dituntut syariah pasti akan mengenali diri.

Hiburan berlebihan, sifat dengki, mengikut nafsu dan
lupa kepada kebesaran Allah SWT penyebab kepada
‘kesedihan’ hati.

Mukmin yang hatinya sentiasa menekankan tuntutan
syariah akan membahagikan masa untuk Allah SWT, diri
sendiri dan untuk keluarga serta umat

tribute to setsuko.
nice article~

Why these things happen to me....

A new week, new entry. For the past few weeks I've been fooling around after the 1st exams. Since the 2nd exam is like 3 weeks away, I've decided to lay back for awhile. Breathing, talking, watching movies and series, and getting together with friends. And all of the 1st exam marks are out. Alhamdulillah I've passed. But still I didn't really understand why I got marks like that. It supposed to be higher (after all I'm repeating the 2nd year which I've go through last year). Guess something is missing. Some touches. Something that really dear to me (or is it someone?). Well I don't really know about,

To tell the truth, I'm really feeling lonely right now. Even with a lot friends around me, I still feel lonely. Did I miss my family back in Malaysia? I don't know. I always feel like that. So I don't think it'll count. I think I'm longing for someone to share my problems. But I don't really ready for as I'm not into that kind of friendship (for the time being). So what is it I'm longing for. Something that really makes me feel like this.

Maybe from outside people may say that I'm kinda 'tough' emotionally. But deep down inside I'm just a mere human being. Nothing about me is so special. I'm not comparing myself with others. Hey, why I'm always writing about something that I feel. Or maybe because what it has to say about this blog, THE UNTOLD STORIES??? Hah. Anyway I'm just a human.

Sometimes (but I think almost all the times), we keep asking why is something that we hoped that it'll never happened to us happened? It's something that had to do with what we had done? Or is it something that had to do with our surrounding? Well, I wish I had the answer. Yeah, I wish and I pray!! Umph. Really not in the mood. But life must go on. Either we like it or not, it's something that had been written for us since the day we were created inside our mom's womb.

Oh AllAH lend me some strength to keep me walk my destiny. Even if I'll be hurt along the way, I hope that I won't whining about it. But please guide me to right path. After all these times I've been neglecting your orders. I hope and I pray that you won't quit on me. On my family, my friends, and all of my brothers and sisters. I know something will be there for us if we follow you, still people make mistakes. Sometimes it's something that unforgiveable on people eyes yet YOU always be there. I just hope that I'll be good. And things that happened to me, In your willing I'll take it as something to remind me of who am I, peacefully~

good old days

Me and my friends in Bujairami 1999

Sending my friend off to Russia

Our first trip to J.U.S.T. So naive~

Having dinner with some Malaysian delegates

If tomorrow never comes

Today, we should be thankful to HIM for lending us this life, this body, this time, and this iman. Thank you for creating us and letting us walk this world. We would never be here today if you didn't create us in the first place. Even you had done a lot for us, we always forget what we had done for you. We never obey your oders. We never please you. We never do the things that we all supposed to do ; pray to you. Even we had done it, I don't think it'll be enough. Even we all had pray and devoting our life all these years, it would never be enough.

Yet you are so kind letting us stay here. Walk this earth. Eating, drinking, sleeping, reading, studying and many more. Countless more things that we all had done. You didn't want anything else except for devoting ourselves to you. But that was something that we all been neglecting all these times. We all to pround to say Alhamdulillah for even once after every breath that we had. We all never pray to you at the fixed time. We seldom read quran yet have a lot of times to read comics and manga. We never learn from the surah that we had read but we always crying after watching movies. We never practice zikr but we always singing till morning.

What had happen to us? What are we? Are we someone or something that rule this world? Or just someone who just passing this world to another world? If you are the latest, act like one. Stop everything that is wrong and do the right things. Think like one. Always remember that our existance on this world is only a temporary. It's never gonna be forever. The destination that we are heading is Over There. After all, we are created only to collect things that is necessary in order to be living happily over there. The life after this is the life of eternity. How we are going to survive in that place if we didn't had what it takes to excel over there. Think again, and act. Cause the day of doom is nearing. We never knew when it'll be coming.

"Who are the learned? Those who practice what they know." (Bukhari)

Live ur Life~

Life is so full of unexpected things. I think that's why they call life. Because there won't be life without supprises. Supprises are like the spices of our life. It's somehting that I think The Creator made to make our life more interesting. Can you imagine, that you wake up everyday doing all the same stuff? It'll be lame isn't it? But imagine that you wakeup everyday full of supprises. You would like your life. Cause everyday are not the same. It has it's own pattern. So why we always keep bugging ourself thinking something that we had done. If it's something that benefit us, it's ok. But most of us (including me) sometimes bother to think about something that we had done.

Well, the supprises of life are so wonderful. But it sometimes can be so mean. So we had to think our every move. But we must remember, we always should learn from others mistakes. As there's a saying said, "Learn from others mistakes, cause we are too busy to do by ourself". Learning from mistakes is something that we should treasure. Because without mistakes we won't know the right way to do something. From mistakes we can learn a lot of things. Such as, "No one is perfect". Even the most perfect man on the earth had done some mistakes. Even the prophet Himself had done some mistakes. But remember, always take a lesson everytime we fall. Because we should never fall twice in the same place.

Life is so wonderful. But most of us too busy thinking about something that had not happen. We too busy thinking about our future and we didn't enjoy the moment that we have right now. The air that we breath. The beautiful sceneries that we had. And wonderful friendship that we had built. Well, if you feel like that stop it. Take sometimes to enjoy your life. Don't bother about others. Just think of your happiness. Be happy. Always be happy. As this comes from my personal experience. I would say that I had such a wonderful life. But I never enjoy it. I always busy, bothering myself with other stuff that I would say "rubbish". I never feel great to be myself. I never thank HIM for what I'm today. All I do is keep hoping for something better to happen to me.

Hopping for something to turn up according to our expectation is not something that good. We should happy, and enjoy our life to the fullest. Cause we never know what life had for us in the future. Maybe something very nice (as we hope), or maybe things turn out to be something that we hate the most. Well, life's too short to think about that. To worry about it. Move on. Live your life as you like (as long as the things that we do are not contradict to our syaria). The rest, live. LIVE! LIVE!!!!!

"If you can solve your problem, then what is the need of worrying? If you cannot solve it, then what is the use of worrying?"

September + Oktober = Ramadhan + Syawal

Berlalulah sudah ramadan, sebulan berpuasa. Dualah bulan kita, beraya. Ahaks~

Kali nie nak tunjuk banyak skit gambar ntuk korang semua nengok. Hahahaha. Ucapan kepada semua yang akan menduduki exam: Silalah belajar dengan bersungguh-sungguh. Kerana peluang hanya datang sekali sahaja. Buat yang terbaik dan kita akan menerima yang terbaik. Tetapi semua adalah ciptaan-Nya....

Urm, gambar nie menunjukkan kipas yang berlatar belakangkan bulan penuh. Rasanya gambar nie amek sebelum Ramadan kot. Mengenangkan saat romantik bersama......... ahaks~

yang nie plak, gambar time kita orang dengar ceramah yang disampaikan oleh sorang Sheikh nie time kita orang gi Iftar kat kg bilal Masjid Jamiah (JUST). Sheikh nie bg ceramah dalam English tuh. Salute ah~ Menu: Maklubah + Kambing

NIe plak time Iftar Pahang kat rumah aper ntah aku pun dah tak ingat. Tapi apa yang aku pasti itu adalah rumah budak pompuan. Pasal tuh first time aku gi ke sana. Lagi pasal iftar tuh, pergh makan memang mantap giler. Aper bleh buat, depa pi masak ayam masak hitam? Ntah menda per ntah nama dier,,,, Menu: Nasi Putih + Ayam Hitam + Sayur Campur

This one, as you guys can see aku sedang makan. So disebabkan aku sedang makan kire gambar nie paling seksi. Uwek!!!!! (choking! not breathing!!!). Nie gambar time kita orang buat iftar ntuk bebudak laki batch kita orang. Umphh, semua berjalan dengan lancar. Kita orang juga menjemput bebudak US ntuk join kita orang. Menu: Nasi Ayam + Ayam Goreng Kicap + Ayam Hainan. Ahaks~ Cool!

Hok nie plok adalah time Iftar Jami3i PERMAI yang diadakan kat Dewan Farabi, Yarmouk University. Sekali ngan mendalah tuh ada Majlis Khatam Al-Quran. Alhamdulillah bertambah ilmu aku. Memang diri nie terlalu jahil sangat dengan ilmu agama....... sob sob. Menu: Nasi Ayam + cili yang sangat pedas~

First time ever. Bebudak Melayu dijemput ntuk bertakbir di Masjid Jami3ah. Ramai gak yang turun. Arab2 yang nak dgr pun ramai gak dtg. Siap buat rakaman lagi. Rasanya ada kot bebudak nie letak takbir tuh dalam YouTube! kot. Lepas tuh kita orang berpecah gi ke rumah bebudak yang nak kita orang takbirkan~

Open House rumah bebudak nie. Rasanya nie raya kedua kot. Pasal nyer takder tempat ntuk mencari makan, so terpaksa ler gi beraya ke rumah bebudak nie...... Thanks Sophee, Syafiq, Amin, Anhar, n Sipuk. Menu: Nasi Impit + Kuah Kacang pedas giler (Sophee, ko orang mana sebenarnyer???) + Puding + Soto + Sup Tulang~

Gambar nie sepatut nyer xleh disiarkan kerana nie adalah disebalik tabir majlis raya PERMAI. Tapi takper. Best gak ah. Tahun nie agak ramai orang masuk nengok (due to bertambah nyer bebudak JUST nie). Majlsi berjalan dengan lancar. Mungkin terdapat a few glitch yang x best. But over all mmg ok ler. Menu: Satay (yeay!) + Kuah kacang(nasib baik x pedas. aper depa ingat kita orang nie orang nogori ko po???) + Dessert buah-buahan kot + Nasi Impit + Nasi Minyak + Ayam Pedas~

Owh aku dah citer ker pasal aku berlakon time Majlis Raya PERMAI? Umphh.... xper ah. takyah citer lg bagus. Hahahaha..... Nie adalah gambar ketika sedang "cuba" ntuk berlatih ntuk lakonan. Last2, malam tuh nak berlakon, petang tuh baru nak amek pelakon dan juga menyiapkan prop. Akibatnya, semua berlakon pakai skrip ciptaan sendiri. Kepada sesiapa yang ada terasa tuh, kami meminta maaf atas keceluparan mulut nie.........

Nie plak gambar budak kecik aku jumpa time semayang jumaat. Pompuan!! Kalau camnie ah kan, bab kata kawan aku, nak dapat yang dah besar punyalah susahkan, apa kata kita hajiz yang kecik lagi. Lagi senang. Bagi gula2 ajer. Dahlah xyah kuar2. Hahahahaha~ No heart feeling..... Budak nie mmg cute kalau nengok live. Kawai~~

Begitulah adanya kehidupan nie. Memang penuh dengan pelbagai ragam. Dan kebelakangan nie aku ada install satu program menarik yang dikenali sebagai StumbleUpon. Memang menarik. Dia akan membawa anda ke laman web secara random. Dan macam2 menda pelik dan menarik yang selama nie kita x pernah tau. So kepada sesiapa yang nak mencuba tuh, silalah ek.....

Dan akhir kata, kepada semua ahli PERMAI, silalah membaca post terbaru dari DeanSama. Citer pasal cinta. Terharu plak aku membaca nyer. Just nak bagitau, kita skang nie rasanya dah lari terlalu jauh daripada fitrah sebenarnya. So berusahalah ntuk kembali ke arah Islam yang cermelang. Juga kalau anda rasa mambazir masa membaca blog nie, seeloknya aku nasihatkan agar anda meninggalkannya. Kerana tiada apa yang boleh dimanafaatkan pon........

“Never let yesterday's disappointments overshadow tomorrow's dreams.”

Selamat Hari Raye~

Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri. Maaf Zahir dan Batin ntuk semua... Alhamdulillah telah dipanjangkan umur ntuk kali nie. Setelah ramadan berlalu, kurasakan diri ini terlalu rugi. Kerana sepanjang ramadan yang lalu, semakin jahil pula diri nie. Sebab tuh raya tahun tak terasa kemenangan. Terasa diri ini terlalu jauh dari pencipta sebenar. Semoga dipanjangkan umur dan bertemu kembali dengan ramadan yang akan datang. Dan semoga aku akan dikuatkan semangat ntuk menghadapi hari yang mendatang.....

Semalam alhamdulillah sempat bertakbir raya kat masjid. 1st time plak duduk kat Jordan nie dapat bertakbir di masjid dan juga sembahyang raya. Ahaks~ Actually malam sebelum nyer tuh, semua dak Malaysia telah dijemput oleh Sheikh Ma'mum ntuk bertakbir di masjid. Pergh, ramai gak pak arab cam kagum ngan cara kita semua bertakbir. Pasal depa kat snih mana ler takbir dengan berlagu. So kira cam jadi famous jap ah. Hahahahaha..... Tapi pas kita orang abes takbir kat masjid, kami telah dipecahkan kepada beberapa kumpulan ntuk gi takbir kat rumah dak pompuan. Ok ah. Seronok sebab dapat makan kuih raye~

Berbalik kepada cerita di pagi raya. Selepas ajer selesai sembahyang raya, kita orang pun bergambar. Lepas ajer selesai bergambar, acara yang ditunggu2. Iaitu senaman pagi a.k.a open house = ton of foods. LOL! Pergh memang tak larat makan la orang cakap. Sampai nak pecah perut aku (bayangkan ah kalau perut korang semua. Muahahahahaha). Banyak giler jemputan open house di pagi raya yang hening nie...... sob sob sob ko balik Malaysia ek sob...

Lepas abes semua rumah bebudak nie aku pusing (hyperbola ajer tuh), kita orang pun berlepas ke Kedutaan Besar Malaysia ke Jordan di Amman. Aktiviti makan secara tak ingat dunia pun bermula..... Start ajer bas jalan, mata terus tutup. Dan hanya terbuka (baca: hanya boleh dibuka) setelah sampai di hadapan kedutaan. Hehehe (kena rehatkan diri sebelum aktiviti yang lebih dasyat. Muahahahaha). Turun ajer dari bas, nampak segerombolan manusia yang memakai baju yang bewarna dan berwani. Pergh cam aper ajer. Tp takper 3ashan raye~ Lepak depan pintu jap. Dok layan kengkawan sambil meng.......... (xleh bgtau. nanti ada orang jelous. har har harun salim bachik).

Maka sesi fotografi pun dilaksankan dengan penuh jayanya. Dengan pelbagai aksi yang telah ditonjolkan (sorry xsemua gambar sesuai ntuk tontonan umum). Setelah itu barulah masuk ke dalam (lambat masuk akibat pergerakan trafik yang begitu perlahan. akibat daripada ahli Irbid yang terlalu ramai....). Bila dah masuk tuh terus ajer merembat segala jenis makanan yang ada dihidangkang. Burp! Opss sorry. Alhamdulillah.... Kenyang gak aku nie ek. Ingat kot dah tak reti kenyang. Dah abes makan, masa ntuk balik.....

Naik bas dan terus jer terlelap.... Tetiba bas aku berenti. Alamak, kena tahan ngan polis depan American Embassy plaks. Pehal la plak pakcik nie. Tak puas hati baik cakap kat PM ker duta ker... nie sibuk ajer tahan bas kita orang(depa dengki ngan baju raya kita orang kot??) Rupa2nya mamat nie ingat ada budak dalam bas nie amek gambar Embassy US tuh (eh ingat bangunan ko tuh cantik sangat ker ha?). Tetapi sebenarnya hanyalah misunderstanding (aku dah cakap dah, maner ader orang nak amek gambar korang tuh...). Pas ajer bas tuh masuk jalan besar, mata nie pun terus ajer kuyu dan jalan pun dah xknal. Dan terus terlelap...... Sedar2 ajer dah ada kat depan simsimah.... hahahahaha giler dasyat aku tido ek....

Begitulah adanya kisah aku di kala pagi raya yang hening di Irbid nie...... Xde menda yang menarik sgt pun. Itulah rutin yang telah aku jalankan selama 2 tahun lalu and for the next 5 years in Irbid nie.... (pergh giler lama lg nak balik nie.... alahai omak kawenkan aku (adeh aper lirik nie salah)). Dah takder aper citer dah nie, next week dah start kelas n 1st exam are coming and just around the corner (dey, saper cakap just dekat... huh? aku cakap "around the corner" ler bukan dekat corner tuh. *mangkuk ayun berterbangan*).

Till we meat again (dey pale otak ko "meat". Tu daging ah. cuba ler bawak study skit.). Owh ok. Sorry. Till we meet again.... da~

p/s: masih menunggu kehadiran bahulu gulung yang dipesan~

yaser da Buaya Mafraq (B.M.), aku, ngan tadin

kengkawan~

aku yang kelihatan bongkok akibat terlalu tawaduk ketika lalu depan orang ramai...

Eid Mubarak~

Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri. Maaf Zahir dan Batin. Wah, dah lama gak tak bercerita panjang ek. Hahahaha.... Setelah sebulan berpuasa, kini tibalah Syawal. Rasa macam cepat sahaja masa berlalu. Kalau dulu2 time kecik2 mesti rasa lama giler time puasa. Isk isk isk. Sampai rasa cam xlarat nak puasa. Tapi bile diberikan "ganjaran" ntuk berpuasa sure tak tinggal nyer. Hahahah.....

Memang seronok ah kalau fikir2 balik berpuasa time kecik2 dulu. Macam boleh dapat. Kalau pergi ke bazaar ramadan tuh, pergh tak cukup tangan membeli (hehehe.... biasa nyer juada pilihan adalah ayam percik). Pastuh kalau dah berbuka tuh, pergh makanan memang masyuk. Dapat berbuka ngan family. Alamak, tangkap leleh lah plak. Pastuh gi semayang terawikh semayang lapan ajer (ahaks~). Sedangkan orang lain semua semayang 20. Pastuh orang tak bagi pun lg salam lepas semayang witir, kita dah duduk menghadap moreh (makanan yang disediakan selepas semayang terawikh).

Memang seronok ah bila teringat balik kenangan berpuasa dan beraya time kecik2 dulu. Tapi skang nie macam dah takder semangat dah. Hahahah... Tak tau apasal. Maybe ntuk kebaikkan kot. Huhuhuhu Kalau dulu2 time beraya ajer mesti nak pergi beraya kat semua rumah orang. Walaupun tak knal. Semua nyer sebab nak dapat duit raya. Pastuh dapat banyak duit raya, pergi beli mercun ngan bunga api (aku main bunga api ajerlah. tak berani nak main mercun. tp adik2 aku ajer yg main. hehehehe).

Kenangan beraya dulu2 mmg dah tak sama ngan skang dah. Kalau dulu, kita sibuk menziarahi saudara-mara. Jumpa kengkawan. Skang nie, memasing duduk melepak depan tv ajer. Sebab dah macam2 program ada kat tv. Memang sedih ler nengok generasi skang nie. Agak2 nyer nanti anak2 kita camne ek? Silap2 sembahyang raya pun dah tak gi ek......

Bila bercerita bab baju raya plak, pergh memang kalau kat Malaysia tuh silau2 ha. Kalau yang perempuan tuh, pergh mekap tebal seinchi. Huhuhuhu..... Gelang emas sampai ke siku ha. Nie yang ori ker tak tak tau. Hahahaha. Yang penting raya mesti raya ek..... Kalau pakcik2 mesti akan tukar kereta baru. Hahahah raya kenalah tukar baru semua. Tapi nasib baik yang menambah bini baru skit ajer. (Heheheheh *grin*).

Tp senang citer memang semua baru ah. Serba-serbi baru. Tapi sekarang suasana tuh dah berubah. Kita semua dah berubah. So dah takder dah keseronokan macam dulu. Isk isk isk. Bila teringat tuh sedih gak ek.

Dalam kita bergembira, jangan kita lupakan yang sedang berduka. Ramai kawan2 kita skang nie yang sedang berduka. Ada yang berada dalam kesusahan. Ada yang berduka kerana kesalahan sendiri. So marilah sama2 kita mendoakan agar kita semua sentiasa hidup dalam keimanan dan ketakwaan kepada-Nya.

So dikesempatan nie, aku KHAIRUL ANWAR IBRAHIM, ingin mengucapkan SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILFITRI, MAAF ZAHIR DAN BATIN. Semoga kita akan bertemu kembali dengan ramadhan yang akan datang.

Will we be like them?

People used to say that, in the old day a mom could raise like 10 children. But when they grew up, not even one of her child could look after her. Is that how we should be? Well my friend, we are lucky cause we still have our parent. Think about others how they are longing for a family love. Cherish them. Take care of them like or even better then they take care of you. Because they are the only parent that we had in our life......

In The End...

Assalammualaikum... and good day everyone. It's been almost a week or probably more since the last entry. So many things to tell yet a little time to write it all. This is what we call life. It just happen. You can't always know what's there for you. Because if you know it, probably we won't be a very good servent. We'll never gain anything with knowing everything. Something are better not to be know . Because it's means to be secret. There's always something about it. It just a matter of time to reveal.

Takziah, to one of my friend whose father just passed away on Wednesday Morning (probably, Malaysian time), who died in a car crash. There's nothing else I could do, accept for pray for him. May AllAH bless him and put him with the people who HE loves and blessed. I don't know what else to say, because I don't know how that I'm going to help her. Insyallah if she needs any help, I'll will always be there (bi iznillah). Actually anyone who need help, just tell me and I'll try my best to help you guys. Insyallah.

Well that's how life going on. That's how life works. It's a miracle. It's so unique that AllAH had told us everything about it in Quran except for life, death, and few others. Well, only HE knows about it. About life, it's actually a very beautiful moment of your journey before the 'real destination'. You can do anything that you want. You can do anything that you feel like doing. You can eat, drink, sleep, play and do gazillion of things as you like. Even though a musulman can do anything that he/she likes, yet they still stick to the syaria'. It's a beautiful plan that AllAH had planned for them. It's beautiful if you really understand what it is.

It's everything about giving rather than recieving. We give our free and freedom for awhile on this world for something better in the life after. It's about giving. If we didn't give what we should give, we will regret about it. Maybe today we didn't realize about it, but someday we'll regret about it. It's just a matter of time. As a saying say "Do what we had to do, an let the time take care of the rest". Maybe today our friends need help, we should do anything that we could do to help them. Because we never know what tomorrow have for us. Maybe it's good or maybe the other way round. Who knows?

Anyway, in the end we all gonna be the same, rotten body within a very cold and dark place six feet under. In the end we cannot bring everything that we had gathered here on this world to the under world. In the end everything will be useless unless we did share it with the others. we shouldn't forget the quest that had sent us here, TO BE A LOYAL SERVANT. Always remember who we are and we come from. Because it's much more useful than anything else.

Last words from me, "treasure something that you love while it still in your possession, before it's too late to do so".

You can't always get what you want

That's how life works. That's how AllAH created this world. That's how we should live on with. That's how my life works. Alhamdulillah, thank HIM for this give cause I don't know if anything that I want really good for me or not. As people always say that what we get is what we deserve. But what we didn't get is something that doesn't meant for us. Even though sometimes I just feel really down cause what I want, I didn't got it.

There's been a few things in my life that I want but I cannot get my hand on them. This is probably because they wasn't meant for to get them. It wasn't destined for me to hold them. At that time I think that HE already abandoned me (nauzubilllah min zalik). But I know I really know what happened back then. It wasn't the fact that HE had abandoned me. But it's actually something for me to ponder upon. Something to tell me that not everything that I want will be mine.

I don't why lately I'm so into the blues. Probably this is what the psychiatrist call compasation. Because I had lost a few things that I really fell the lost. Then it turn me into something that what I'm not. That's what people called LIFE. Ever since the first time I meet people, I had this kind of feeling. A feeling that I cannot explain. Something that is beyond my knowledge. It's something that keeps this body running. Something that keeps my blood flowing trough the arteries and veins all over my bodies which functioning to oxygenate my cells.

Enough of those stories. Now lets talk about something else. About the person I like the most. Till this moment, I don't really know who is the person that I like the most (after my father and mother la). Well probablu because it's not time yet. I don't why every time I meet new people I kind of forgot about the people I used to know. Sometimes I feel really bad about it. But most of the times I enjoy. I keep telling my self to stop from what I'm doing. I do thing about how others feel. Because I feel it too. I just wish that I had something inside me to prevent my self from destroying them. If I can't, I hope that someone will be able to stop it.

I really hope so. Before it's too chronic or even worsen. I really hope. I do pray to HIM. Maybe it's not time yet. Probably this feeling just because I see other people they had it and I want it too. It's just a common thing for an ordinary people like me to have this feeling. After all, I'm not a perfect person. There's not perfect person in this world. But we still can try to be perfect even it it mean that we had to look weird in front of others.

After all I've wrote, I still don't understand about life. It's just too complicated. Is it just me, or it really is. So the question is, AM I MYSELF? Still looking for the answers............

It's that time of the year again....

It's back. It's the time of the year again. Thank goodness that we made it again this year. After the long and tiring moment of our life we finally arrived to that time again. This is the time when love will blooms again. This is the time when all people try to be nice with each other. No matter how you angry with people. It doesn't matter right now. Everyone is too busy searching for the right one. For the right moment, for the right path. And in a simple word, "The Right".

People who really sought after all the goodness at that time are the only person who will get it. Sometimes we forgot about that time. We are too busy with something else which is not last for a life time. For a moment like this, some people wait for a life time. For something like this, if it can be bought by money it think a lot of blood will spill. For something that as special as this time, we should never forget about it. Yet we still too ignorant and too self-centered to think about it.

My friends, life is too short to think about something that won't last long. Why wasting your time thinking about it. You still got a lot of other things that you need to think about. And I think everyone know what I've been mumbling ; it's Ramadhan my friend. It's that month of the year again. It's the month full with forgiveness and blessing. It's the month of the people who sought after it. It's the time for us to increase our worship, to decrease our "kharban" thingy, and to ask for forgiveness. It's the time that people had been waiting for a long time.

It's the love to HIM that had bloom which will lead us to HIM. It's the longing to meet HIM will lead us to the right path. It's everything about HIM. It's nothing about her or anyone else. It's only about HIM. No matter what you do for life (as long as it's followed syaria'), no matter how much you make a month, no matter what brand of cloth you wear, no matter how beautiful your wife (or how handsome your husband is), and everything else, it doesn't matter. What really matter is your heart that had devoted to HIM. Willing to endure everything that you'll encountered along the path to HIM.

Ramadhan Kareem. Kullu 3am wa antum bi alf kher.

Wake me up when............

"Life is not like a cup of Adni Tea. But it's actually like that guy in the blue 'baju melayu'. Hehehe"

It's been a awhile since the last entry. There's so many things had happen recently. Many of enjoying moments and few breaking heart moments. But after all, it's life. Alhamdulillah now I'm in Ramadhan again. Thought that I may never reach this time again of this year. After all that happen. But many thanks to AllAH for HIM that let me living till this very moment.

I remember that the same month of the last year me and friends started our second year as a medical student. There's a lot new things that we had learn. After few time, we realized that life is not as easy as it seems to be. But with the strength that HE had lended to us, we manage to survive. After all, this's what makes a man, man again.

Now it seems that everyone had changed. Yeah, people change. I know. But I don't know if I'll be able to cope with it. I hope that I'll do. Insyallah. Well to all of my friends out there, what ever you do, never give up. Coz, if you ever tripped it's not like the end of our life cycle. It's actually a sign that want us to reallize what we had done. It's not the STOP WHAT YOU'VE BEEN DOING sign. It's just a BREAK AND THINK WHAT YOU'VE BEEN DOING sign.

Hahahaha, it's funny when I really said that. But it's a fact that everyone had to bear. After all it's just plain and simple ME-self. And since it's already Ramadhan, there's a lot of other things that I want to do. And to all of my friends whose been reading my blog (if there's any), I would like to wish you guys Ramadhan Kareem, Kullu 3am Wa Antum Bi Kher (which means You'll be fine trough out the year).

Thank you for being there for me. A friendship that had been built, will remain as it is till the very end. Nothing can change it except for HIM, as HE is the almighty. Thank you for being there for me. And again to all of my friends, what's done let it be. What's in the future is really our concern. Never turn back again. Just have a glims of it for us to remember it. I really don't care what had passed. What really concern me right now is the future. Because past cannot promise me anything except for pain and suffer. But future really loaded with joy and greatness. Insyallah, life is a complicated things that make a man, man.

I just woke up from a long sleep just to reallize how many things that I've missed. Out of all, Alhamdulillah I'm still here. Till then, I think I'll leave you guys with this very interesting song from the Green Day, Wake Me Up When September Ends. Bye, wslm~

It's all about giving

It's not how much you accomplish in life,
that really counts,
but how much you give to other,

it's not how high you build your dreams,
that makes a difference,
but how high your faith can climb,

it's not how many goals you reach,
but how many lives you touch,

it's not who you know that matter,
but who you are inside,

believe in the impossible,
hold tigh to the incredible,
and live each day to its fullest potential,
you can make a difference, in your world

It's seems that yesterday just passed

Ue O Muite Aruko

There's nothing much happening recently. Nothing that really BIG accept for the meeting with H.M Tuanku Syed Sirajuddin, Malaysian King happening here in Jordan. Yeah in Jordan babe! Ahaks~ Well there's nothing really special about the meeting accept for the good foods and great gift. yeah I'm talking about gift. Hahahaha.....

Well life too short to worry about others some may say. But to me what really matter is ourself. Today I'm going to right something that had happen to me few years ago back when I'm still a student at SMAP Labu. Well, I used to study French as my forreign language (as every students there are supposed to take an additional subject beside the main subject). At first there's only French and Arts. Because I'm not so into Arts, so I turn to French. Then one day two new teachers that had change it all. There are the Japanese language teachers. Freshly graduated from Japan (well the sad is that they are Malaysian. I thought that we could get some Japanese teacher here. Hehehe).

Then, suddenly my interest grows into Japanese language and their culture. So that's how everything started. I learn many things about Japanese, about Japan. We were using a text book call "Konichiwa" which means "Good Morning". Well, the title is actually about a song that I used to sing it back at school. It called "Ue O Muite Aruko" means "Looking Up While Walking". Today when I search few old songs I stumble into it. I really leave a lot of memories to me. As it had been awhile since I leave the school and all of my friends. But still the memories remain inside my head. But today I'm not going to talk about them. I just going to write about this song. When I search it on the Wikipedia, the song is actually is a love song. Well no wonder why I had left a lot of memories in my head ahaks~ But really the song is very interesting.

I think we better listen to it rather that mumbling like we know everything. So here is the lyrics. The English version (Sukiyaki), is not the translation of it. It's just made to match the song. So enjoy it while you can. Ja-ne....

ue o muite arukou
namida ga kobore naiyouni
omoidasu harunohi
hitoribotchi no yoru
ue o muite arukou
nijinda hosi o kazoete
omoidasu natsunohi
hitoribotchi no yoru
shiawase wa kumo no ueni
shiawase wa sora no ueni
ue o muite arukou
namida ga kobore naiyouni
nakinagara aruku
hitoribotchi no yoru
(whistling)
omoidasu akinohi
hitoribotchi no yoru
kanashimi wa hosino kageni
kanashimi wa tsukino kageni
ue o muite arukou
namida ga kobore naiyouni
nakinagara aruku
hitoribotchi no yoru
(whistling)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sukiyaki_%28song%29

Our new kitty. Still don't have name....

Hisashiburi....

Rasanya dah hampir dua minggu tak update blog nie. Entah ler rasa cam takder menda nak citer walaupun banyak perkara yang berlaku. Memang benarlah kata orang, dalam hidup kita nie orang datang dan pergi. Seorang datang, ada pulak sorang yang pergi. Itulah namanya kehidupan.

Awal-awal cuti arituh rasa cam bosan ajer tinggal kat Irbid nie time semua orang semua balik. Tapi setelah beberapa lama best pulak rasanya. Tak ramai orang, tak banyak cabaran, tak banyak kerenah nak dilayan dan macam-macam lagi ah. Sekarang nie terasa aman ajer. Pasal dapat bersendirian. Tapi dalam masa yang sama juga ada beberapa perkara yang terjadi:

1. Pergi membakar satay di rumah Duta ntuk jamuan kemerdekaan Kedutaan Besar Malaysia ke Jordan. Pastuh depa        suruh tido ruamh Duta plak pasal majlis abes lambat sangat.


2. Pastuh ader plak Majlis Sambutan Kemerdekaan kat MSD. Kena pergi sebab makan free. ahaks~


3. Pastuh ader plak Agong nak datang dalam masa beberapa hari lagi (mesti pergi sebab ada makan free lagi)

Itu adalah antara beberapa aktiviti besar. Pastuh aktiviti kecil lain2 tuh rasanya tak citer pun takper. Pasal biasalah aktiviti seorang bujang, takder kerja, dan juga free so macam2 aktiviti membuat onar telah dilaksanakan. Selain itu tidak lupa juga aktiviti yang harus dilakukan oleh setiap manusia ; TIDO (pergh never feel like this before). Dan benda yang peting juga adalah kepulangan Ayub ke Jordan. Hahahahaha....... Walaupun tak dapat belajar sekelas, dapat buat onar sekali dah mencukupi ek Ayub (ceh macam dier faham ajer).

Tapi dalam masa yang sama juga, ada sorang lagi kawan aku nie nak blah dah dari Jordana nie. Nama dier Khaled. Orang Saudi. Dia katanya dah tak suka belajar medic a.k.a takleh bawak (setiap orang mempunyai kelebihan sendiri). Dia akan balik ke Saudi dan sambung belajar kat sana dalam kursus Pergigian (sebenarnya sedih juga pasal parents dier pakar wooo. Bapak dier Pakar Leukemia ngan Bone Marrow Grafting). Paperpun all the best ah Khaled. Walaupun ko tak baca blog nie, tapi tetap aku nak ucapkan semoga berjaya ek. Hehehe.....

Jadi untuk beberapa hari yang mendatang nie tak tau nak buat aper dah disamping aktiviti harian. Rasanya terpaksalah kot nak tumpu study dulu. Yelah dulu orang suruh belajar sungguh2, gi main2. Kan saper dah susah skang nie. Tapi rasanya pengalaman nie dah banyak menyedarkan aku tentang hakikat hidup nie. Paperpun kehidupan nie memang penuh dengan pelbagai kenangan. Adakalanya manis. Tetapi hok selalunya adalah pahit. Tetapi itulah yang dinamakan sebagai kehidupan. Wah dah banyak juga citer ek. Mesti dah bosan korang baca menda nie ek. Takper ah ok ah selamat semua. Semoga best selalu. Bak kata Siti Nurhaliza eh Datin Siti Nurhaliza, "Are you best?". Ahaks~

Sehingga ketemu lagi ek sumer, nity...

Me bakaring satay at Embassador's House in Amman

Aktiviti Kunyah-Kunyah di balad Irbid. (dalam gambar adalah hidangan kepala kambing yang bernilai JOD1.750. best. ahaks~)

Me, Mat Se and the said Khaled

*nota: JOD1.000 bersamaan RM5.30

Alhamdulillah....

Assalammualaikum and good day everyone. First of all I would like to thank everyone who had given me support after all this time. I know that I've been a REAL JERK lately. Sorry for that. But anyway thank you again to everyone. Well, today is Malaysia's 49th Independence Celebration. I don't know really happen in Malaysia. But here in Jordan, we celebrate it with a very glorious celebration. As today I had to go to The Malaysian Embassy for the preparation of the celebration at the level of Embassy where the guests would be all High Consulates and Embassy of all nations here in Amman.

And on Saturday, there will be celebration for the students in Jordan. There will be a lot of activities. But unfortunately, I won't particpate in anything except for one; acara makan. Hehehehehe. All the Malaysian students who is currently available in Jordan are invited to go (since so many of the students went back to Malaysia). The occasion will take the whole saturday.

And thinking about Independence, I wonder if I ever think about how my country were founded. How we get our Independence from the British because we were one of the British Colonies. There's so many stories about it. And also stories how our heroes fight the communist who want to tear our country apart after the Japanese occupation. I hope that I'll take notes of all these things and use it as a catalyst to go further. I would like personnally to thank every Malaysian War Heroes for what they had done and what they had sacrificed in order to get where we are today.

To all of my friend out there, remember that what we had today is the work of the previous generation. Please do not take it for granted. Love it. Feel it. Live it. And embrace it. For we don't know what we can contribute to our country in future. So don't let loose of your guard. Always be ready for what ever coming towards us. For that what makes us, Malaysian unique from the others. The most important thing is that no matter what race we are, what relegion we are, always remember that being a true Malaysian is always a once in a lifetime opportunity. So don't let it slips away without contributing towards development and towards reaching the vision 2020.

Guess I've talk a lot. Anyway thank you again to all for being my friend. I'll always remember what you guys had told me. From now on, I won't let anything hold me to the ground. I'll fly away. Even if there's any, I'll face it with gut. For I want to be a true Malaysian. But if you guys ever see me doing something wrong, do not hesitate to let me know or to give me advice. Cause that's all I need from my friends. "Apalah guna seorang kawan jikalau dia tidak dapat membantu kawannya yang lain". Thank you very much......

Salam Kemerdekaan yang Ke-49

Thank You

Sometimes,
We forget,
To say how grateful and to ponder upon,
All things that were blessed upon us,

It's so easy for us to value things that we don't have,
But it's not that easy to value something that we already posessed,
Even though what we have are more precious,
Than that we don't and going to get,

Be grateful,
For the air that we breath,
For the bodies that contain our soul,
For this freedom,
For this land,
And for this chance.

Maybe it's not perfect,
But it's precious and we should be proud of it,
By using what we have for the sake of our life,
For better future,
Under HIS guidance.

Thank you AllAH,
For this MERDEKA.

Life without friends....

Well it's been almost a week since everyone left for Malaysia for summer holidays. So only me and a few buddies left here in Irbid. Since the new students are coming, so we kinda busy here looking for new houses (read: new house for students but actually they are old. *sigh*). Still when I'm lying idle or reading books, I feel really lonely here. Have nothing else to do. No real friends to talk to. And the best part is no one to cook for me. I wonder, will I be able to endure it a little bit more? That a question that I don't know how that I'm going to answer it.

And it's been a week since Wali left us. He's such a good guys with a typical teenager's attitude. There's nothing more to say about him. Only that he'll always be with us here in our heart. Back to the case. Well, I really don't know this feeling but it really make me sick. I really feeling lonely here. With no one to talk, no one to turn to, and no one to play with. Well guess this is life. I wonder how can certain people can live by their one without others. For me, I think I'll choke to death if I live on my own. HELP ME!!!!!!

Since I've been playing around so much this year, the result is not looking so good. So I guess must work harder in order to stay put in this school. Guys, this thing really kills me. I really need some good advice or wisdom words. Cause right now, I feel a little drifted away from the mainland. I think I didn't really pray hard recently. Well, I know that our iman a.k.a faith can really be as thick as the onion skin (as there is say like that), but I don't see why I should be like this. Maybe because there's no one to turn to I think. So I think that's why people always say that we have to seek for the everlasting love of HIS. Because HE won't abandon us in time we need HIM the most. Yet, people didn't know that why their prayer are not answered. Actually he always there looking at us.

This is how a typical not so brilliant medical student like me have in his head. Well you guys know that I once went to visit a clinic here in Irbid. For what reason that's something only me and few friends know what and you guys don't have to worry because it's not something really BIG. Well the doctor there once told me that life as a medical student is not just here in medical school. Actually our journey is way over. Actually once you have step into the medical school, your whole life will be as a medical people. Eat medicine, drink medicine, sleep medicine, play medicine, and have a family of medical people (woopss, I guest I talk too much. hehehe).

If you guys want to know what this means, it's life as a medical student. This is the real life. Actually people always being blurred by the BIG TIME doctors. And they say to their kids that someday you can be like that person. So you have to do medice. Go get good grades then apply for medical school. "If you don't get it, don't you guys ever thinking of going home" (this dialogue is being made to clearify the situation here). This is one thought that we have to clear from our people. Why people always relate good result, and you have to do medicine? After all this time, all I can see is people ditching school because they don't have passion for medicine. They said that they were told by their parents, friends, and teacher to do medicine. But what they really want to do is something else. So if there is parents of people out there reading this blog, let me make it clear ; don't ever ask you child to do want they don't like doing. You guys are going to take them to the crust of the earth. Or you guys even will sink them to the bottom of the ocean. Leave them alone. Let them make their own mind on what they're going to further their study in. (note: the writer just talk on behalf of unlucky people. But he himself wish to do medicine on his own. So don't get the wrong idea).

I guess I've talk alot. Yeah since there's no one to turn to, I guess I just put all my feeling here in this blog. Actually got alot of other things to say. But I guess that's all for now. Got to run some errand here. That's what you have to pay for living alone. Hope that I won't be in this state forever, Insyallah. To all my friends in Malaysia (either you guys really study there, or just went home for vacation), happy holiday. And out of all, Happy Independence Day. As on the 31st of August, Malaysia will be celebrating her 49th Independence Day. That's all for now.

Muhammad Mutawalli in memory....

Sunday, August 20th. The last day for me with my friend; my housemate, my dinner tablemate and my "in crime partner", Mutawalli. He already left this land for good (hehe~ actually good for him since he cannot concentrate anymore toward his study). I actually don't know what really in his head. The only thing that I knew is that he's really happy this morning when we sent him off to airport. Well, this is what I've been keeping for the last few weeks. So to all my friends out there, I here by announcing that Wali is no more in Jordan.*sigh*

As I've mentioned before that I'm going to tell a shocking news. Maybe it's not for others, still for me it's a shocking one. Well for the last two years we've been living under the same roof, eating on the same table and drinking from the same bottle of water. But in the end, it turn that he left us earlier. Actually, I don't really in the mood of writing an entry (sorry if this entry is a bit dull since I'm a little sad about this thing and no so in the mood of writing a good one). So I guess this all I can say for the time being.

Wali, if you read this blog please know that you'll always be in our heart. You're a wonderful guy and always been there for us. You're kind of special to all people around you. There will be no more "bulatan", no more gossiping, no more cursing people, no more weekend activities (geez. sure it will be a boring one) and the sad one is that, there is no more delicious things to eat (guess I'm gonna loss some weight afterwards). Anyway thank you for being such a good friend. Insyallah we'll meet again. Till then....

Me and Wali at Aqaba

Summer 2005 Memory

Till we meet again my friend.....

"If it wasn't this.... it'd be something else"

Good old-day

Hah... don't really know what to tell. Just this pics. Showing my friends here in Jordan (read closetest friends). Well as this monday will be our last day in this second year of medical school. When we come back next september, insyallah we all will be in the third year. Except then we gonna have major changes. All of us won't be living under the same roof again. There will be no more loafing like the good old days. There will be no more laughter and jokes are gonna be less interesting. Many things will change. May be AllAH has his own plan for everyone of us. So we just gonna sit back and enjoy every last moment together. I hope that even if all of us do part, it will only be for awhile. Not for eternity.

Well today, I've seated my immonological paper which I found that really hurts my heart as the questions really hard to think off. Well, I've try my best. I've put my effort in this exam and now the only thing that I can do is pray to HIM. May HIM grant HIS mercy on me. Well if anything happen maybe there's something for me. I do remember a saying from film Elizabethtown, "If it wasn't this.... it'd be something else". It's actually have a very beautiful meaning. AllAH has HIS own ways for us. He didn't create us for nothing. He do has HIS purpose creating us on this world. But the most important thing is that we already tried everything.

Well much too much to say, yet too little space and time. Insyallah, as the time flies everything will be unveiled. There's nothing to worry about. As I've mention before (I think I have. Don't I?), that life itself is a happiness. We don't have to wait till we graduate to get happiness. Or we don't have to become a doctor to gain happiness. Because as the time goes on, there will be much more challange that we had to undertake. There will be much more competition that we had to be part of. There will be time that we will at the lowest point of our life and also time when we will be at the top of the world. Yet everything won't give us happiness. As we all already know that, a man won't feel enough of what he has. The urge for more will make him an unhappy person. So why do we have to wait to get happiness. As long as the happiness that we choose didn't oppose the syariah of Islam (laws of life in Islamon how to deal with everything).

So my friends, if you guys were reading this entry remember that every day in my life I will always cherish everything that we had done together. The moment we spent together will always be in my mind. As for today, we are brothers in Islam. Actually every moslem are brothers. A brother must do good things to his brother. But please forgive me if all these times I've done bad things to you guys (also to my sisters). I just want to tell you guys that how much I love you guys. You guys meant something to me. Well as I've said before, "If it wasn't this..... it'd be something else".

Learning to Fly by Tom Petty

Well I started out down a dirty r oad
Started out all alone
And the sun went down as I crossed the hill
The town lit up the world got still

Im learning to fly but I aint got wings
Comin down is the hardest thing

Well the good old days may not return
And the rocks might melt, and the sea may burn

Im learning to fly but I aint got wings
Comin down is the hardest thing

Well some say life will beat you down
Break your heart, steal your crown
So I started out for God kno ws where
But I guess Ill know when I get there

Im learning to fly around the clouds
But what goes up must come down

Im learning to fly but I aint got wings
Comin down is the hardest thing
Im learning to fly around the clouds
But what goes up must come down

Im learning to fly
Im learning to fly

happy Birthday to.....

Birthday celebration is a once a year celebration for almost every people (except if they do celebate their friends', parents' or even their special friends). Well this month of every year, I'll be celebrating 3 most special people in my life.
They are:

         My mum   14th August
         Amirul Akram (my second brother)   20th August
         Hafizul Jamil (my youngest brother)   23rd August

Well they are the person I will always love in life. Anyway may you guys will have a great year and a great year to come. As I won't be able to go home at that time, I will call you guys on that day. May you guys have a great celebration. And please do remember that as our age increasing, our life will closing to it's end. So always pray to AllAH that if we die today, we will be put in the group of people that AllAH had promised to protect in the end.

So here again i would like to wish all of you a happy birthday. May AllAh bless you guys.

From,
kHer

post-script: and also happy birthday to who ever celebrate their birthday on this month. may happiness and prosperity will always be with you guys. sorry cause i can't get all of you presents. but may this dua will accompany you guys. thank you for being my friend.

Mom and dad at Alamanda, Putrajaya

From left: Hafiz, Amir

Hayya bil Jihad (lets go for Jihad)

Jihad? What is that word really means. Does it means go out there and kill everyone? Who are these "everyone". I think most of people out there think that Jihad means killing people without sparing anyone in it's path. Well you guys got it wrong. And thats what the zionist want everyone to think. Even the moslems. It is sad to hear hear that even the moslems brother themself misunderstood this term. They should think back what had been done by the earlier moslems to gain what we had today (as for this moment, most of it had been taken away by AllAH due to our foolishness and greediness).

Well I don't really know the exact translation of Jihad. It is actually an Arabic word. From my oppinion, it means striving or doing the best one can do in any field. And this always been misinterpreted by the western as they were always being told that it means "holy war". Well here is the fun fact: "You guys are so wrong!!!!". The zionist always us this term to go war with the moslems. (And after they finished with moslems they will go war with everyone. Don't believe it, well you better believe it).

Islam always want everyone to live in peaceful. As you should know at the time of prophet Muhammad PBUH, that the Mecca citizen were built on few religions. There is no force for them to convert to Islam. Most of them convert to Islam because they understand what Islam really means. And they really treasure it as Islam had change their life from worst to the better. Islam had bring peace all over the world. It's concept of living as a living body, that if a part of the body is being hurt the others will feel it too. This concept which had brought Saladin (1138-1193) to lead the army of Islam to victory liberating Jerusalem. Why do he want to liberate Jerusalem? Does it possessed anything special to him?

Well the answer is that it possess a 'treasure' which everyone around the world even all religions want to hold their hadn on it. It is the holy place for Islam, Christian, and Jew. But what happen today that the Jews are so cruel and greed. They want all the place by themself (Owh actually they took it from the Moslems and claimed it theirs. As the truth is that there is nothing left for them over there). They were once the promised people. People who were given so many prophets that they kill most them. And that's why AllAH took their dignity and made them the worst people of all times.

They thought that they are the choosen people. As they only refer to their old and already being twisted 'book' by thier leader who love power and status. They actually know that they will be other religion that AllAH sent. And they knew that Islam is the last and the promised religion to succeed at the end. But still they try to deny it because if they admit it, there won't be any Jew anymore. They will loss their possessions. They will loss their status. And the most of all is that they had to admit that Muhammad PBUH were sent from another tribe, Hasyimiah (an Arabs tribe). Not the Jews. They will be no more Israel.

While they denying the truth of Islam, they try to crush it. Into million pieces. Start by giving bribes to the moslems leader. Promising power for them. And supporting plans to demolish Islam by corrupted moslems leader. There are too many eamples to give. If you know the real Islam, you can distinguish the true moslems leader and the corrupt one. Thats what we see in middle east. Not to forget that this well organize crime are also spreading through out the world. Let say the South East Asia. Countries like Malaysia and Indonesia. This organization had long rooting in these countries. They had built their network through the goverment agencies. They manipulate the man-made laws to deny the truth that Quran brought. Recently they had surfacing their movement. They already using the "legal" ways to deny Islam. As for example the Article 11 in the constitution of Malaysia. It said that everyone had their right to choose and practice their religion. This is include the moslems (this is what happen when people use the man-made laws instead of laws of AllAH).

Back to our main point about Jihad. As i had mention ealier there are many ways to go for Jihad. War is the last resort that we have after the modest ways of Jihad are not efficacy anymore. And while we have choices, there are thousand of ways. Like studying, trading, being a leader, helping people, and more to be name. What I want to hilight here is studying. Studying is a way of Jihad. Because with studying we will gain knowledge that will brought us further than we are today. With knowledge we will be able to conquer the world. As for today, artillary, calvary are not the only means of war. Thinking, politics, influence and more are also included in today arsenal. Actually with these kind of weapon, it will bring more damage than the state of the art intercontinental balistic missile (ICBM).

So as a moslem student, we had to do what we had to do. Do our responsible. Get as much as we can information on anything. Even today simplest thing will be the greatest weapon of tomorrow. But remember, that we had to do all these things not for our own interest. Not for our nations. But it is for the ummah. Lets bring back what we had lost a long time ago ; Khilafah Islamiyah (khilafah means the leadership of a moslems leader which his action is based on al-Quran and as-Sunnah). Let the ummah rise once again on this land. We may and we may not be here to see it. But as long as our soul are bind to these body, we will strive to the last. May Islam rise again.

"Dan perangilah mereka itu, sehingga tidak ada fitnah lagi dan (sehingga) ketaatan itu hanya semata-mata untuk Allah. Jika mereka berhenti (dari memusuhi kamu), maka tidak ada permusuhan (lagi), kecuali terhadap orang-orang yang zalim." Surah al-Baqarah (193)

Whose lives are more precious?

As you read this article, there's a thousand of innocent people get kill, being raped, being bullied, being tortured, and many other things that out of any ordinary persons. But in fact everything is happening around us. Look at the middle-east region. Thousand of people get kill just to liberate 3soldiers whose actually the one supposed to be kill (since there are soldiers. and soldier were to meant to be killed in action or otherwise rather than innocent people). The world has come to its end. It's also the end of mankind sanity. Everyone only think about their benefit rather than their community. I really don't know what these people want? Do they really want to liberate their comrades? Or they just useit as the 'cause' to go war with Moslems? I think it's the second one.

Well today, I'm going to write something that I've should write long ago. What really happen here in the middle-east-conflict? The story actually begins late in 1936 when the British (the conqueror at that time) had decide to give the Jews a piece of land (what will you do when a foreign people come to your land and claim it to be theirs'?). Well it doesn't go very well between the local and the 'authorities'. And the resistant started. Yet the local were denied their rights. Their lands were taken with force. They were killed so that the 'foreign' people can live in harmony. But that didn't stop the locals. They fight back. And most of the Arab countries 'help' them (well actually the did help the Palestinians. they did help them to lose their lands. they sent their soldiers to the battlefield. but they said that each bullet that were shoot, should be pay by the shooter. what that really means?).

And after a few series of war between the Jews and the Arab countries, the Jews win. They have gained their 'right' on the others land. And yet all the Arab kings didn't do anything to stop them (since everyone were enjoying wealth that were given to them as bribe to lost in the war. *damn*). The conflict between the Palestinian and Israelis didn't stop there. They were exchanging attack between those two sites. As time goes by, the conflict turns into war. And it is said that this will be the fourth world war (since the Iraq invasion were claimed to be the third world war). But what actually triggered the war? We heard from the 'trusted' source that the war is actually a campaign by the Zionist to free their soldiers captured. But why the Hezbollah and Hamas denied their wish? The truth is that these parties actually want them to release the innocent people that were captured and sent to the concentration camp. And who this people are? There are old women, young children, and weak people. Yet the Israel turned down their demand. And they started to kill everyone (by everyone I mean every single living body in that land).

So who's the one to be blame? Whose lives are more precious? And there are many more questions that we should answer in order to get the real insight of this conflict. And for your information, this war isn't just about land, isn't just about soldiers, or not even about the people, but it's actually between religion. You may say that I'm execrating about small matter. But it is about religion. Because since the day our prophet Muhammad PBUH was born, these Zionisthad sweared to kill every Moslem because they know that Muhammad PBUH is the last prophet. Muhammad PBUH didn't come from the Jews descended. But He comes from the Arab tribe's called Hasyimiah. This has added to their hate for Moslems. And yet the Moslems leader never does a right thing to defend these things from happen. So let us thing now about this. As a Moslemwe should be thinking and even contributing to the growth of Islam. We always pray to Allah to give victory to us. But do we actually working to get it? Do we do what He asked us to do? So as I've said before, answer all questions to get the insight. May Allah lead us to the right path. May we blessed with His bless. May the Khilafah raise again. Do what we have to do, even if it as simple as donating a ringgit to our brothers and sisters in need.

Remember, AllAH will help people who He wants. As He has the right to do so.........

A kid being captured trying to protect himself

Is there any hope left for this child?

>

Who gonna fight for their death?

What say you?

Vclip dari YouTube...

Ntah arituh dapat mail dari group bebudak sekolah aku. pastuh ada link ke clip nie. wah sedey nyer. teringkatkan zaman sekolah dulu. tulah orang cakap, selagi kita ada menda tuh kita takkan bersyukur. tapi once kita dah kehilangannya, kita akan merinduinya. selagi kita mampu untuk bersyukur dengan nikmat tersebut, maka lakukanlah. "ingatlah hidup ini terlalu singkat untuk diri kita sendiri". Semoga sentiasa dalam rahmat-Nya.

What a life to live....

Well this the real world. Full of arrogant and selfish, stinky, and all other words that i shouldn't mention here (due to the type of my blog) to describe people. Why people always of themself. Why they only care their banefit rather than all other people around him/her? Even myself sometimes I think that i shouldn't do any good deeds to people because the way they act toward us. But after giving it a think, there always a cause (or even more type of excuses) to do it.

As we already read in the news, the Israelis already increasing their military activites at the Israel - Lebanon border. They already kill a lot of innocent civillian just to regain their so called "captured conscript". WTF? Who started to treat people badly? Who captured so many unarmed civillian. Who's the one that started to kidnap women, children and old people? And yet they still running free. While the other who really react after they been attack are the one who being accused of terrorism. What kind of world is this? Is this some kind of jokes?

Well, for whom didn't know what really happen you have come to the right place. Let me tell you something that will shocked you guys. The real terrorist is the Israel. They are the one who really behind everthing that happen recently and in the past. They already planned everything from the started which dated back to the birth of our prophet Muhammad PBUH. Yeah! It's true. And more shocking news that they didn't hate Islam. The truth is that they really hate who aren't Jews. For them, AllAH had given them a lot of prophets. And that makes them so BIG. Hahaha...

And apart from the war is about my life recently. Since the blog itself is about my life as a medical student, it's not fare to not tell you about it ha? Well my life recently wasn't as I expected. I flunk in the test and it really upset me. But what else can I do? The damage already done. So they only way that I can recover is to rebuild form the ashes of the damage. I don't why these things happen to me. But as I try to find the answer, I found something that really important that I always take it for granted; my religion ISLAM. ISLAM has answer to every questions. There's no single question in this world that cannot be answered.

There's being so many things happen lately. I've done a lot of terrible things. To myself, my parents, friends, my prophet and the saddest is to HIM. I've told lies. I've neglecting my studies. I've been doing bad things. And there's so many things that I cannot describe it. As for my study, I don't really revising and doing home work. I always spent most of my time doing nothing. Is this a life that I want to achieve? Is this a doctor-to-be attitude? I don't think it'll get me far. Sigh!

Back to the story, I really hope that I'll find peace. Peace from everthing that had made me far from HIM. What had made me backed HIM. And everything that lead me to the wrong path. "O AllAH, the one who created everything on this land, please help me find your light as it the brightest light in this life". I think that's all what I want to tell everyone out there. If you're in vein, don't ever turn your back from AllAH as HIM has every means to control this life. Praise HIM and don't ever let HIM down. Because the work done in HIS cause will be counted as a good deeds. All praise to AllAH, master of the universe.

p/s: I did this in english to welcome my friend from Iceland whose been reading my blog lately. Thank you for your support. next time I'll write you something interesting about Jordan. Sorry~

Apakah peranan kita?

Apakah sebenarnya sedang berlaku?

Kita telah lama mendengar tentang perebutan kuasa dan kawasan di bumi Palestine. Setiap hari dan setiap ketika kita mendengarnya. Berbagai kejadian yang berlaku. Suami di bunuh, anak di tembak, isteri dirogol, warga tua di sepak dan bermacam-macam lagi. Tetapi dalam kita tidak sedar sebenarnya kita tidak langsung terasa kesengsaraan yang berlaku kepada saudara seIslam kita di sana. Adakah kita menyumbang kepada kebaikkan mereka? Atau adakah kita sebenarnya yang menyebabkan mereka ditimpa musibah sebegitu.

Mungkin selama ini kita selalu melaungkan kata-kata semangat, menulis pelbagai kutukan dan juga kata-kata cacian di dalam blog mahupun di dalam email. Kita juga mungkin pernah mengikuti pelbagai perarakan menentang keganasan rejim Israel laknatullah. Tetapi, adakah dengan melakukan perkara sebegitu kita telah berusaha untuk membebaskan Palestine secara khususnya dan ummat Islam sedunia am nya? Adakah kita menyumbang kepada pembangunan Islam?

Entahlah, beberapa hari kebelakangan nie asyik terfikir pasal perjuangan kita sebagai khalifah di bumi AllAH nie. Terfikir berapa banyakkah diri ini telah menyumbang ke arah kemajuan Islam. Adakah diri ini berjuang untuk agama AllAH. Adakah diri ini berjuang demi kecintaan terhadap AllAH dan rasul-Nya? Pelbagai soalan yang sering terbuku di dalam kepala. Tetapi dalam masa yang sama masih melakukan perkara yang sama ; tidak mengendahkannya.

Saya dengan artikel yang ditulis di dalam blog SaifulIslam. Suatu blog yang memang banyak manafaat nyer. Bukan niat untuk menyindir mana-mana pihak, tetapi sekadar meluahkan rasa yang terbuku di dalam hati. Sekadar untuk membawa rakan-rakan semua berfikir ; Apakah tujuan sebenar kita dijadikan di atas muka bumi nie? Kemanakah hala tuju kita? Sememangnya diri nie bila menulis akan berkata sebegini. Namun hakikatnya sebaliknya (Ya AllAH bantulah hamba-Mu ini mencapai tujuan sebenar dijadikan di atas muka bumi).

Bercerita pasal artikel yang ditulis di dalam blog SaifulIslam, ada banyak memberi pengajaran kepada diri. Sebenarnya hidup kita nie bukan sekadar di sini sahaja. Tetapi hidup kita ini adalah sebagai persinggahan untuk kehidupan selepas kematian. Di mana tiada yang akan mati selepas itu. Tentang hakikat diri kita ini yang memang tak pernah leka dengan dosa akibat kealpaan. Entahlah, inilah sebenarnya apa yang cuba dilakukan oleh musuh Islam ; merosakkan remaja Islam agar masa depan Islam akan mundur. Seperti apa yang pernah dikatakan oleh seorang sahabat (tak ingat plak nama dier), "Jikalau nak tengok masa depan sesuatu negara (termasuk juga agama dan keluarga), maka lihatlah pemuda dan pemudi mereka".

So sambung pulak pasal Palestine, kalau kita nengok kat paper semenjak kebelakangan nie macam-macam dah berlaku. Memang dia orang nie takkan selesa sampai ler kita semua ikut apa yang mereka nak. Cuba bayangkan apa yang telah mereka lakukan? Mereka boleh membunuh sewenang-wenangnya. Apabila orang Islam cuba melindungi diri mereka dan keluarga mereka, mereka dituduh sebagai pengganas. Dan bermacam-macam lagi. Tetapi ini bukanlah perkara yang cuba disampaikan. Persoalan sebenarnya, adakah kita yang mengakibatkan perkara nie? Jawapannya adalah ya. Cuba kita soroti kembali sejarah bagaimana palestine boleh jatuh ke tangan Yahudi. Ini kerana kita sebenar telah lari jauh daripada landasan sebenarnya. Al-Quran tidak lagi digunakan sebagai rujukan utama. Kita semakin cintakan dunia. Kita semakin jauh dengan pencipta kita.

Masih adakah peluang untuk kita berpaling semula? Masih adakah harapan untuk kita semua? Masih adakah cinta kita kepada-Nya? Cubalah tanya diri kita sendiri perkara ini. Semoga kita semua akan memperolehi jawapan sebenarnya. Lihatlah kedalam diri kita, adakah kita mempunyai kualiti seorang yang beriman. Semoga kita semua sentiasa dalam perlindungannya. Sesungguhnya imanku sungguh lemah kerana hanya mampu menulis. Tetapi belum tentu korang semua akan tunduk dengan permintaan mereka. Maka bangkitlah sahabatku sekalian. Kita kembalikan Khilafah Islamiyah di muka bumi ini. Betulkan diri kita dan insyallah yang lain akan mengikuti kita. Kerana sesungguhnya kitalah pewaris seterusnya.

1 Litre of Tears

Aya-chan sedang mengetuai koir kelas nya.

First time korang baca entry mesti pelik asal aku letak gambar budak jepun yang kawai nie kan. Hehehe.... Nie adalah gambar yang diambil daripada sebuah drama bersiri jepun bertajuk "1 Litre of Tears". Diadaptasi daripada sebuah buku yang mengisahkan kisah benar seorang budak perempuan yang telah disahkan mempunyai penyakit spinocerebellar atrophy. Budak tersebut bernama Kito Aya. Tapi dalam citer nama nyer lain.

Actually citer nie diintroduce pada aku oleh seorang kawan baik aku. Cerita nyer memang menyayat hati. Pasal cerita nie memang pasal kehidupan sebenar budak tuh. Disahkan menghidapi penyakit tuh time umur dier 15. Lepas tuh, dier nyer body cognition mula lemah. First takleh jalan, pastuh takleh cakap, pastuh hanya mampu terlantar di atas katil. Mesej sebenar yang cuba disampaikan dalam citer nie adalah supaya kita sentiasa bersyukur dengan nikmat yang telah dikurniakan oleh-Nya. Pasal tak semua orang ada selalunya sihat. Manalah tau satu hari nanti secara tiba-tiba kita disahkan ada penyakit yang takder cure (F.Y.I penyakit tersebut takder penawarnya. so Aya terpaksa meneruskan hidup. kire cam menunggu masa ajerlah).

Bercerita pasal drama nie teringat plak satu mail yang aku dapat daripada cikgu aku kat SMAP Labu, dalam mail tuh ada kata ; happiness is a voyage. kita takleh tunggu kita dapat sesuatu baru nak gembira. Kalau kita nak cakap secara islamicnya, beramal seperti kita akan mati esok dan bekerja cam kita akan hidup selamanya. Macam-macam dah kita semua dengar pasal menda nie. Tapi kekadang tuh kita ada terfikir ke semua nie? Bagi aku sendiri, rasanya macam kita nie dah terlalu jauh menyimpang daripada ajaran yang sebenar. Kita hari nie terlalu dimanjakan dan dimewahkan dengan macam-macam menda. Nak duit terus ajer parent kita hantar, nak itu ada orang tolong buatkan. Tapi kita lupa bahawa hidup nie tak selamnya begitu. Suatu hari nanti kita akan diuji (kalau orang tuh selalu diuji, itu tanda AllAH sentiasa sayang akan dirinya). dengan sebegitu hebatnya dan mungkin kita akan mengeluh. Tapi ingatlah sesungguhnya AllAH suka akan hambanya sentiasa berdoa kepadanya. Dan kita juga harus ingat, kejayaan yang dikecapi juga adalah ujian daripada-Nya. Dah macam-macam aku tulis nie, sekarang terpulang pada diri kita semua untuk menilainya. Semoga apa yang kita kecapi adalah dalam rahmat-Nya.

So kepada sesiapa yang nak tahu cerita nie secara keseluruhan boleh lah download nyer dari tenet. Atau boleh pau daripada aku nie. Huhuhu.....

“Just being alive is such a lovely and wonderful thing.”

Que sera sera

Que sera sera bermaksud what will be will be dan juga bermaksud aper yang akan berlaku, akan berlaku. Semenjak beberaoa hari kebelakangan nie rasa macam tak tenteram ajer. Macam-macam menda ada dalam kepala nie. Semua menda nak difikirkan. Kadang-kadang tuh sampai menda yang sepatutnya takyah fikir pergi fikir gak. Entahlah aper nak jadi ek. Tapi kelmarin ada gak ah berbincang skit ngan sorang kawan arab aku nie. Tengah-tengah bercerita tetiba kuar satu topik menarik ; APASAL AMEK MEDIC? So kepada kengkawan semua (terutama yang amek medic fikirkan sebabnya. kepada yang tidak, tiada salahnya jikalau ada menukarkan soalan tersebut kepada apa yang sedang anda lakukan sekarang). So memasing pun memberikan pandangan memasing dalam perkara nie.

Entahlah aper yang aku fikirkan sebenarnya. Aku sendiri pun tak tau kenapa aku amek medic in the first place. Kenapa tak amek kursus lain yang kritikal juga cam pharmacy ker, dentistry ker aper ker. Aku sendiri pun bertanya kepada diri sendiri. Adakah aku nie betul-betul nak belajar medic nie? Ataukah sekadar nak mencari populariti pekerjaan ini? Ataukah kerana mak bapak yang suruh? Tapi yang pastinya mesti ada hikmah disebalik kejadian ini. Hikmah yang kita sendiri mungkin tak nampak sekarang tetapi di masa akan datang pasti banyak membantu kita.

So itulah kekadang kalau kita asyik berfikir sesuatu nie, kita kena juga bercerita ngan orang lain. Yerlah. At least kita taklah rasa terbeban ngan sesuatu tuh. Kekadang dapat pandangan orang lain camne. Boleh ler kita menambah pengetahuan. Yang penting jangan sesekali kita takut ntuk buat silap (kalaud ah tau tuh melampaulah). Sebab kita sebagai insan yang lemah nie sentiasa belajar dari kesilapan. Cuma mungkin kekadang kita terlupa. Itulah juga fungsi seorang rakan. Untuk mengingatkan kita di masa susah dan senang (time susah ntuk mengingatkan kita masih ada lebih ramai yang lebih susah daripada kita kat luar sana dan masa senang ntuk mengingatkan kita bertapa luasnya kuasa-Nya). Itulah sebenarnya kawan yang sejati.

Ish dah jadi lain plak citer aku nie. Tapi itulah hakikat kehidupan sebenarnya. Sentiasa perlukan bantuan yang lain. Dan juga kehidupan kita ini adalah ketentuan-Nya. So mulai sekarang marilah kita semua bersama-sama untuk mencapai tujuan kehidupan sebebarnya ; keredhaan AllAH. Kepada kengkawan di luar sana, kalau nampak ada kesalahan pada diri nie janganlah takut untuk tegur. Kalau ada yang tegur itu lebih indah sebenarnya. Semoga kita semua akan diredhai-Nya. Insyallah........

Kengkawan time kat sekolah dulu dari kiri: Firdaus Rahim a.k.a kaytee(KT), aku, ngan Hafiz Amran a.k.a apes. gambar kat KL Central.

*kaytee (KT) bermkasud ketua tingkatan. dulu dier dari Form 1 dan Form 2 jadi KT. pastuh Form 3 dan Form 5 jadi pengawas.