Alhamdulillah....

Assalammualaikum and good day everyone. First of all I would like to thank everyone who had given me support after all this time. I know that I've been a REAL JERK lately. Sorry for that. But anyway thank you again to everyone. Well, today is Malaysia's 49th Independence Celebration. I don't know really happen in Malaysia. But here in Jordan, we celebrate it with a very glorious celebration. As today I had to go to The Malaysian Embassy for the preparation of the celebration at the level of Embassy where the guests would be all High Consulates and Embassy of all nations here in Amman.

And on Saturday, there will be celebration for the students in Jordan. There will be a lot of activities. But unfortunately, I won't particpate in anything except for one; acara makan. Hehehehehe. All the Malaysian students who is currently available in Jordan are invited to go (since so many of the students went back to Malaysia). The occasion will take the whole saturday.

And thinking about Independence, I wonder if I ever think about how my country were founded. How we get our Independence from the British because we were one of the British Colonies. There's so many stories about it. And also stories how our heroes fight the communist who want to tear our country apart after the Japanese occupation. I hope that I'll take notes of all these things and use it as a catalyst to go further. I would like personnally to thank every Malaysian War Heroes for what they had done and what they had sacrificed in order to get where we are today.

To all of my friend out there, remember that what we had today is the work of the previous generation. Please do not take it for granted. Love it. Feel it. Live it. And embrace it. For we don't know what we can contribute to our country in future. So don't let loose of your guard. Always be ready for what ever coming towards us. For that what makes us, Malaysian unique from the others. The most important thing is that no matter what race we are, what relegion we are, always remember that being a true Malaysian is always a once in a lifetime opportunity. So don't let it slips away without contributing towards development and towards reaching the vision 2020.

Guess I've talk a lot. Anyway thank you again to all for being my friend. I'll always remember what you guys had told me. From now on, I won't let anything hold me to the ground. I'll fly away. Even if there's any, I'll face it with gut. For I want to be a true Malaysian. But if you guys ever see me doing something wrong, do not hesitate to let me know or to give me advice. Cause that's all I need from my friends. "Apalah guna seorang kawan jikalau dia tidak dapat membantu kawannya yang lain". Thank you very much......

Salam Kemerdekaan yang Ke-49

Thank You

Sometimes,
We forget,
To say how grateful and to ponder upon,
All things that were blessed upon us,

It's so easy for us to value things that we don't have,
But it's not that easy to value something that we already posessed,
Even though what we have are more precious,
Than that we don't and going to get,

Be grateful,
For the air that we breath,
For the bodies that contain our soul,
For this freedom,
For this land,
And for this chance.

Maybe it's not perfect,
But it's precious and we should be proud of it,
By using what we have for the sake of our life,
For better future,
Under HIS guidance.

Thank you AllAH,
For this MERDEKA.

Life without friends....

Well it's been almost a week since everyone left for Malaysia for summer holidays. So only me and a few buddies left here in Irbid. Since the new students are coming, so we kinda busy here looking for new houses (read: new house for students but actually they are old. *sigh*). Still when I'm lying idle or reading books, I feel really lonely here. Have nothing else to do. No real friends to talk to. And the best part is no one to cook for me. I wonder, will I be able to endure it a little bit more? That a question that I don't know how that I'm going to answer it.

And it's been a week since Wali left us. He's such a good guys with a typical teenager's attitude. There's nothing more to say about him. Only that he'll always be with us here in our heart. Back to the case. Well, I really don't know this feeling but it really make me sick. I really feeling lonely here. With no one to talk, no one to turn to, and no one to play with. Well guess this is life. I wonder how can certain people can live by their one without others. For me, I think I'll choke to death if I live on my own. HELP ME!!!!!!

Since I've been playing around so much this year, the result is not looking so good. So I guess must work harder in order to stay put in this school. Guys, this thing really kills me. I really need some good advice or wisdom words. Cause right now, I feel a little drifted away from the mainland. I think I didn't really pray hard recently. Well, I know that our iman a.k.a faith can really be as thick as the onion skin (as there is say like that), but I don't see why I should be like this. Maybe because there's no one to turn to I think. So I think that's why people always say that we have to seek for the everlasting love of HIS. Because HE won't abandon us in time we need HIM the most. Yet, people didn't know that why their prayer are not answered. Actually he always there looking at us.

This is how a typical not so brilliant medical student like me have in his head. Well you guys know that I once went to visit a clinic here in Irbid. For what reason that's something only me and few friends know what and you guys don't have to worry because it's not something really BIG. Well the doctor there once told me that life as a medical student is not just here in medical school. Actually our journey is way over. Actually once you have step into the medical school, your whole life will be as a medical people. Eat medicine, drink medicine, sleep medicine, play medicine, and have a family of medical people (woopss, I guest I talk too much. hehehe).

If you guys want to know what this means, it's life as a medical student. This is the real life. Actually people always being blurred by the BIG TIME doctors. And they say to their kids that someday you can be like that person. So you have to do medice. Go get good grades then apply for medical school. "If you don't get it, don't you guys ever thinking of going home" (this dialogue is being made to clearify the situation here). This is one thought that we have to clear from our people. Why people always relate good result, and you have to do medicine? After all this time, all I can see is people ditching school because they don't have passion for medicine. They said that they were told by their parents, friends, and teacher to do medicine. But what they really want to do is something else. So if there is parents of people out there reading this blog, let me make it clear ; don't ever ask you child to do want they don't like doing. You guys are going to take them to the crust of the earth. Or you guys even will sink them to the bottom of the ocean. Leave them alone. Let them make their own mind on what they're going to further their study in. (note: the writer just talk on behalf of unlucky people. But he himself wish to do medicine on his own. So don't get the wrong idea).

I guess I've talk alot. Yeah since there's no one to turn to, I guess I just put all my feeling here in this blog. Actually got alot of other things to say. But I guess that's all for now. Got to run some errand here. That's what you have to pay for living alone. Hope that I won't be in this state forever, Insyallah. To all my friends in Malaysia (either you guys really study there, or just went home for vacation), happy holiday. And out of all, Happy Independence Day. As on the 31st of August, Malaysia will be celebrating her 49th Independence Day. That's all for now.

Muhammad Mutawalli in memory....

Sunday, August 20th. The last day for me with my friend; my housemate, my dinner tablemate and my "in crime partner", Mutawalli. He already left this land for good (hehe~ actually good for him since he cannot concentrate anymore toward his study). I actually don't know what really in his head. The only thing that I knew is that he's really happy this morning when we sent him off to airport. Well, this is what I've been keeping for the last few weeks. So to all my friends out there, I here by announcing that Wali is no more in Jordan.*sigh*

As I've mentioned before that I'm going to tell a shocking news. Maybe it's not for others, still for me it's a shocking one. Well for the last two years we've been living under the same roof, eating on the same table and drinking from the same bottle of water. But in the end, it turn that he left us earlier. Actually, I don't really in the mood of writing an entry (sorry if this entry is a bit dull since I'm a little sad about this thing and no so in the mood of writing a good one). So I guess this all I can say for the time being.

Wali, if you read this blog please know that you'll always be in our heart. You're a wonderful guy and always been there for us. You're kind of special to all people around you. There will be no more "bulatan", no more gossiping, no more cursing people, no more weekend activities (geez. sure it will be a boring one) and the sad one is that, there is no more delicious things to eat (guess I'm gonna loss some weight afterwards). Anyway thank you for being such a good friend. Insyallah we'll meet again. Till then....

Me and Wali at Aqaba

Summer 2005 Memory

Till we meet again my friend.....

"If it wasn't this.... it'd be something else"

Good old-day

Hah... don't really know what to tell. Just this pics. Showing my friends here in Jordan (read closetest friends). Well as this monday will be our last day in this second year of medical school. When we come back next september, insyallah we all will be in the third year. Except then we gonna have major changes. All of us won't be living under the same roof again. There will be no more loafing like the good old days. There will be no more laughter and jokes are gonna be less interesting. Many things will change. May be AllAH has his own plan for everyone of us. So we just gonna sit back and enjoy every last moment together. I hope that even if all of us do part, it will only be for awhile. Not for eternity.

Well today, I've seated my immonological paper which I found that really hurts my heart as the questions really hard to think off. Well, I've try my best. I've put my effort in this exam and now the only thing that I can do is pray to HIM. May HIM grant HIS mercy on me. Well if anything happen maybe there's something for me. I do remember a saying from film Elizabethtown, "If it wasn't this.... it'd be something else". It's actually have a very beautiful meaning. AllAH has HIS own ways for us. He didn't create us for nothing. He do has HIS purpose creating us on this world. But the most important thing is that we already tried everything.

Well much too much to say, yet too little space and time. Insyallah, as the time flies everything will be unveiled. There's nothing to worry about. As I've mention before (I think I have. Don't I?), that life itself is a happiness. We don't have to wait till we graduate to get happiness. Or we don't have to become a doctor to gain happiness. Because as the time goes on, there will be much more challange that we had to undertake. There will be much more competition that we had to be part of. There will be time that we will at the lowest point of our life and also time when we will be at the top of the world. Yet everything won't give us happiness. As we all already know that, a man won't feel enough of what he has. The urge for more will make him an unhappy person. So why do we have to wait to get happiness. As long as the happiness that we choose didn't oppose the syariah of Islam (laws of life in Islamon how to deal with everything).

So my friends, if you guys were reading this entry remember that every day in my life I will always cherish everything that we had done together. The moment we spent together will always be in my mind. As for today, we are brothers in Islam. Actually every moslem are brothers. A brother must do good things to his brother. But please forgive me if all these times I've done bad things to you guys (also to my sisters). I just want to tell you guys that how much I love you guys. You guys meant something to me. Well as I've said before, "If it wasn't this..... it'd be something else".

Learning to Fly by Tom Petty

Well I started out down a dirty r oad
Started out all alone
And the sun went down as I crossed the hill
The town lit up the world got still

Im learning to fly but I aint got wings
Comin down is the hardest thing

Well the good old days may not return
And the rocks might melt, and the sea may burn

Im learning to fly but I aint got wings
Comin down is the hardest thing

Well some say life will beat you down
Break your heart, steal your crown
So I started out for God kno ws where
But I guess Ill know when I get there

Im learning to fly around the clouds
But what goes up must come down

Im learning to fly but I aint got wings
Comin down is the hardest thing
Im learning to fly around the clouds
But what goes up must come down

Im learning to fly
Im learning to fly

happy Birthday to.....

Birthday celebration is a once a year celebration for almost every people (except if they do celebate their friends', parents' or even their special friends). Well this month of every year, I'll be celebrating 3 most special people in my life.
They are:

         My mum   14th August
         Amirul Akram (my second brother)   20th August
         Hafizul Jamil (my youngest brother)   23rd August

Well they are the person I will always love in life. Anyway may you guys will have a great year and a great year to come. As I won't be able to go home at that time, I will call you guys on that day. May you guys have a great celebration. And please do remember that as our age increasing, our life will closing to it's end. So always pray to AllAH that if we die today, we will be put in the group of people that AllAH had promised to protect in the end.

So here again i would like to wish all of you a happy birthday. May AllAh bless you guys.

From,
kHer

post-script: and also happy birthday to who ever celebrate their birthday on this month. may happiness and prosperity will always be with you guys. sorry cause i can't get all of you presents. but may this dua will accompany you guys. thank you for being my friend.

Mom and dad at Alamanda, Putrajaya

From left: Hafiz, Amir

Hayya bil Jihad (lets go for Jihad)

Jihad? What is that word really means. Does it means go out there and kill everyone? Who are these "everyone". I think most of people out there think that Jihad means killing people without sparing anyone in it's path. Well you guys got it wrong. And thats what the zionist want everyone to think. Even the moslems. It is sad to hear hear that even the moslems brother themself misunderstood this term. They should think back what had been done by the earlier moslems to gain what we had today (as for this moment, most of it had been taken away by AllAH due to our foolishness and greediness).

Well I don't really know the exact translation of Jihad. It is actually an Arabic word. From my oppinion, it means striving or doing the best one can do in any field. And this always been misinterpreted by the western as they were always being told that it means "holy war". Well here is the fun fact: "You guys are so wrong!!!!". The zionist always us this term to go war with the moslems. (And after they finished with moslems they will go war with everyone. Don't believe it, well you better believe it).

Islam always want everyone to live in peaceful. As you should know at the time of prophet Muhammad PBUH, that the Mecca citizen were built on few religions. There is no force for them to convert to Islam. Most of them convert to Islam because they understand what Islam really means. And they really treasure it as Islam had change their life from worst to the better. Islam had bring peace all over the world. It's concept of living as a living body, that if a part of the body is being hurt the others will feel it too. This concept which had brought Saladin (1138-1193) to lead the army of Islam to victory liberating Jerusalem. Why do he want to liberate Jerusalem? Does it possessed anything special to him?

Well the answer is that it possess a 'treasure' which everyone around the world even all religions want to hold their hadn on it. It is the holy place for Islam, Christian, and Jew. But what happen today that the Jews are so cruel and greed. They want all the place by themself (Owh actually they took it from the Moslems and claimed it theirs. As the truth is that there is nothing left for them over there). They were once the promised people. People who were given so many prophets that they kill most them. And that's why AllAH took their dignity and made them the worst people of all times.

They thought that they are the choosen people. As they only refer to their old and already being twisted 'book' by thier leader who love power and status. They actually know that they will be other religion that AllAH sent. And they knew that Islam is the last and the promised religion to succeed at the end. But still they try to deny it because if they admit it, there won't be any Jew anymore. They will loss their possessions. They will loss their status. And the most of all is that they had to admit that Muhammad PBUH were sent from another tribe, Hasyimiah (an Arabs tribe). Not the Jews. They will be no more Israel.

While they denying the truth of Islam, they try to crush it. Into million pieces. Start by giving bribes to the moslems leader. Promising power for them. And supporting plans to demolish Islam by corrupted moslems leader. There are too many eamples to give. If you know the real Islam, you can distinguish the true moslems leader and the corrupt one. Thats what we see in middle east. Not to forget that this well organize crime are also spreading through out the world. Let say the South East Asia. Countries like Malaysia and Indonesia. This organization had long rooting in these countries. They had built their network through the goverment agencies. They manipulate the man-made laws to deny the truth that Quran brought. Recently they had surfacing their movement. They already using the "legal" ways to deny Islam. As for example the Article 11 in the constitution of Malaysia. It said that everyone had their right to choose and practice their religion. This is include the moslems (this is what happen when people use the man-made laws instead of laws of AllAH).

Back to our main point about Jihad. As i had mention ealier there are many ways to go for Jihad. War is the last resort that we have after the modest ways of Jihad are not efficacy anymore. And while we have choices, there are thousand of ways. Like studying, trading, being a leader, helping people, and more to be name. What I want to hilight here is studying. Studying is a way of Jihad. Because with studying we will gain knowledge that will brought us further than we are today. With knowledge we will be able to conquer the world. As for today, artillary, calvary are not the only means of war. Thinking, politics, influence and more are also included in today arsenal. Actually with these kind of weapon, it will bring more damage than the state of the art intercontinental balistic missile (ICBM).

So as a moslem student, we had to do what we had to do. Do our responsible. Get as much as we can information on anything. Even today simplest thing will be the greatest weapon of tomorrow. But remember, that we had to do all these things not for our own interest. Not for our nations. But it is for the ummah. Lets bring back what we had lost a long time ago ; Khilafah Islamiyah (khilafah means the leadership of a moslems leader which his action is based on al-Quran and as-Sunnah). Let the ummah rise once again on this land. We may and we may not be here to see it. But as long as our soul are bind to these body, we will strive to the last. May Islam rise again.

"Dan perangilah mereka itu, sehingga tidak ada fitnah lagi dan (sehingga) ketaatan itu hanya semata-mata untuk Allah. Jika mereka berhenti (dari memusuhi kamu), maka tidak ada permusuhan (lagi), kecuali terhadap orang-orang yang zalim." Surah al-Baqarah (193)