Is this the end?

28th of Ramadhan 1428H.

Is this end of Ramadhan?
Will it end like this? What have we done for the past 4 weeks?
Are we really doing things that we supposed to do? Or just laying around doing things that we shouldn't do?

All answer we can get it within ourself. To tell the truth is that I don't thing I really had embraced Ramadhan this year. Why? I just don't know why. Probably because there's deep in me there's something that really bother me. I don't know what. But one thing that I know, I just flunked my entire holy month like that.

Owh I know I had missed all the fun part of being in Ramadhan. I should just do everything that I supposed to do instead of everything that I wasn't supposed to do. Well that just so me. I don't really see where I'm heading these days. I really don't know why. Am I missing my family? I doubt that. Maybe missing my friend? Well I don't think so. Maybe I'm in love? Well you must be kidding right? Hahahahahahaha.....

Anyway I just don't feel like myself. I just feel that I'm just a person that's so out of this place. Out of this field. I don't think that I didn't entitled for all this luxury life and blissful situation. Or maybe I don't deserve anything that really nice. For me I really think I should start thinking of increasing my effort. Or should I just surrender? I don't know. I wish that someone could tell me what to do.

With the coming Eidul Fitr, I'm wondering will I be a good person? And the questions continue........

But only one thing that I hope will get me the answer, "I hope that this won't be the end of my life, for I haven't done what I supposed to do"

-Hoping for an answer-